


i see what's mine (and take it)

by unilatte



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Swearing, idk why this is in two parts, shinhongseok, this is just some good ol academic rivalry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unilatte/pseuds/unilatte
Summary: He makes studying seem like a breeze, like it's something natural and innate in him to just absorb everything he lays his eyes upon. What everyone doesn't know, and will probably remain clueless of, hours and hours were spent into studying materials and textbooks that a permanent hunch is ingrained in his back from all the times he's spent slouching unhealthily on his laptop, a book, anything. So yes, Shinwon is very competitive and he takes so much pride in it because he's worked hard, he actually deserves it.Then he comes barrelling along, acting all nonchalant and carefree like he's got the world in his palms. Hongseok.
Relationships: Ko Shinwon/Yang Hongseok
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	i see what's mine (and take it)

**Author's Note:**

> pls be nice >.<
> 
> title taken from p!atd's emperor's new clothes

If you ask Shinwon when it started, he wouldn't be able to give you a definitive answer. 

As laborious as it sounds, Shinwon has an irrational fear of losing. There's nothing more in the world that could make Shinwon taste bitterness and acrid in his mouth than the horrible act of losing. The feeling of failure and the shame that comes with it - he feels it more than anyone, fiercely burning at the deepest parts of his gut. He has always been like this for as long as he can remember, head game on and chin up, consistently chasing the high of being first. He loves the recognition and the praises that follow it, a proof that he's the best he could be. 

It's because of that characteristic of his that made him competitive as fuck. Sometimes, he's in it for the thrill, for the rush of emotions. Most times, it's the sense of validity that comes with it that Shinwon chases. It's unhealthy, really. Seeking validation from others is like handing over his happiness and self-worth to them, and Shinwon is painfully aware of that but he just seemingly can't stop. He's set a standard so high for himself already that when he falls down even the slightest notch, a suffocating sense of disappointment fills the gaps of where he should've been proud. 

"Shinwon, it's okay," Hyunggu rubs his back as a form of consolation, voice nonchalant as he tries to gauge Shinwon's reaction. "That's life, it happens. You still got good grades on the test though?" 

There's a click of a tongue before Shinwon side eyes Hyunggu, venom and poison daring to dart out his eyes. "I'm not looking for just good, Hyunggu." 

"I know," the younger replies, tone frustrated. He picks a piece of fry, hovering it over Shinwon's lips, "just eat first for now, please." 

It's a bit absurd, really. Someone would think that at his age - he's not old but he's definitely towing the line to hagness - he's able to handle losing like how he handles everything else. Easy, quick, a bat of an eyelash and it's gone. Shinwon thinks it's his vulnerability, masked by layers of fake confidence and unperturbed persona, causing his misery when clearly, everyone else loses at some point in their life. But fuck, all the hatred he has from something as simple as not winning is inexplicable, especially if he lost to someone who he deemed as not up to par with him in anything possible. 

"I hate him so much," groaning out his distaste, Shinwon slumps on the dirty fast food table, forehead first. "Just his existence makes me barf, ugh, what the fuck." 

The other is so used to all this whining and complaining from Shinwon that Hyunggu doesn't even have to look up from his phone, instead, an exasperated sigh comes out his lips. "Who? Yang Hongseok?" 

At the mention of his name, tiny hands clenched into fists, and a surge of animosity courses through him, like a tidal wave in the summer heat and Shinwon is the sand underneath all it. He actually hisses. "Did you really have to mention his name?" 

"What, when did Hongseok become he-who-shall-not-be-named?" 

"His name makes my stomach churn." 

Throughout the entirety of Shinwon's first year in university, he'd been the top. Well, not top in... _all_ aspects, it's still a point of argument Shinwon is open for discussion, had been meaning to find out but anyways. Always accustomed to being first in anything - really, anything, the bane of existence of his friends when playing even a simple video game is Shinwon and his competitiveness -- of course, he'd brought the same level of spirit most especially in his academics where Shinwon's skills and ambitions just emanates. He's a favorite among professors, makes an amazing group mate, and overall a well applauded student. 

He makes studying seem like a breeze, like it's something natural and innate in him to just absorb everything he lays his eyes upon. What everyone doesn't know, and will probably remain clueless of, hours and hours were spent into studying materials and textbooks that a permanent hunch is ingrained in his back from all the times he's spent slouching unhealthily on his laptop, a book, anything. So yes, Shinwon is very competitive and he takes so much pride in it because he's worked hard, he actually deserves it. 

Then he comes barrelling along, acting all nonchalant and carefree like he's got the world in his palms. Hongseok. 

Halfway into his second year of university, news had been spreading like fire about this new student coming in a week, and it's particularly big news especially for a department that has very little population and it was evident with how everyone around him was just buzzing about this new kid - but Shinwon paid it no mind, deeming the information as useless as the yoga mat he has on his apartment. Fine, there's a new student, so what? He couldn't find out the reason as to why it would be beneficial for him to know this Hong... _was it Hongsik?_ There's a multitude of things better to do anyways, rather than contributing and partaking in mere gossip. 

So Shinwon, that time, simply did not care. Obviously, why would he. Upon first impressions, this Hongseok didn't really seem like an imminent threat to his academic standing because what is he going to do? Bench press his way into a 4.5 GPA? Or like, curl up his way into getting a diploma? 

But karma is a bitch, an aggravating one at that, and got back immediately at Shinwon for being such a judgmental prick. 

It had been a week right after their departmental exams, and technically, Shinwon wasn't nervous at all. He'd been expecting to be first, as usual, like always. Although one look at their department's announcement board begs otherwise. Shinwon's eyebrows quickly furrowed, his face quickly contorting to that of disbelief when he saw Yang Hongseok above Ko Shinwon on the list, a point higher than him, the number 1 right beside the other's name while alongside him was number 2. 

That moment was a defining point in his life as he'd never felt so bitter than that exact moment, even more so than the time One Direction announced their "18 month" hiatus back in 2015 and Shinwon had felt so betrayed he refused to see a Harry Styles picture for more than a month. He didn't last, but point is, he was indeed bitter. 

After that, Shinwon's standing started to fluctuate. Sometimes he's first, sometimes it's Hongseok. Very rarely they tie in one place. It's getting tiring to watch. 

"Your stomach is churning because you clearly didn't have breakfast and the first thing you eat is an oily burger," Hyunggu points out, pushing a cup of water in his direction. "If I was your stomach I'd be upset too." 

"Except you're not," Shinwon retaliates. 

The other just rolled his eyes, dusting off the salt from his fingers when he turned to Shinwon once again. "I don't know what to tell you and your hatred for Hongseok, but sometimes...you're actually irrational, you know?" 

"I'm well aware, you don't have to point that out." Shinwon accepts that fact all too easily, after all, he's still a human being, of course he'd be irrational sometimes. "But the point here is that he's annoying, he's big-headed - quite literally, I tell you - and I hate him. You don't have to do anything about it other than to listen to me rambling about him." 

Another tray lands on their table and Hwitaek's smiley face appears in front of Shinwon, looking like one of those stickers he used to have as a kid. If Hyunggu couldn't empathize with his hatred for Hongseok, surely, Hwitaek will side with Shinwon. He's been told he's the favorite dongsaeng, after all. 

"I heard about the test results, you okay?" Hwitaek starts. Shinwon just shakes his head dejectedly. 

"We were actually just talking about Hongseok," the whine that left Shinwon's lips made Hyunggu chuckle like the supportive friend he is. "Please help him, and me too, please. If I have to hear how much he hates Hongseok for another time, my ears will surely start bleeding." 

It took Hwitaek a while to respond as he was chewing, Shinwon is watching him expectantly, and finally, he swallows and then, "oh Hongseok? I like him, he's actually very nice and funny. I like his humor." 

"Not you too," narrowing his eyes, he leans back, shaking his head in sheer disappointment. "You're all a bad judge of character." 

Just to be clear, Shinwon is not a hateful person. In contrast - even if Hyunggu wouldn't openly admit it - he's got a very mild and gentle personality. With all truth, yes, being judgmental is one of his flaws, but he doesn't make anything of all those judgments he had in mind. Never had he started a gossip or a rumor, nor had he ever tried engaging in any fight because there's no good it will bring him. 

But with all his heart, there's just something about Yang Hongseok that ticks the very little semblance of patience he has left. Out of all the people he's met, it's him who irks him the most. 

Tanned skin, lean muscles, annoying smile with an equally annoying voice - Shinwon doesn't even know where to begin. He resents how carefree Hongseok seems to be, how easy he makes studying look like. In the six months they've been block mates, not once had he seen the other make an actual effort to study. Even his backpack looked light as a feather. He's always in the middle of other people, laughing, letting loose, having the time of his life basking in other people's attention whereas Shinwon's buried nose deep in a book, studying. And despite the very minimal effort he seems to exert, Hongseok always ends up somewhere near at Shinwon's level in terms of academic standing. 

That is very insulting on Shinwon's part. 

So yes, he is indeed bitter that someone has it better than him. Sounds selfish but that's who he is. 

The sky's a mixture of bright orange, light blues and a very faint pink hue when Shinwon finds himself walking on the concrete roads of the university to go back to his apartment. He'd wallowed in self pity enough for today that no energy is left at all in his frail body, and all Shinwon needs now is a good sleep before he starts studying once again. Truthfully, it's tiring. But the validation he gets from his academic success is enough of a driving force to make him continue to do it. 

There really is very little energy in his body that when someone grabs his arm and yanks him back, Shinwon finds himself stumbling, feet twisting in a way that he didn't know was possible, only to fall into that person's waiting arms. He really should improve his stance and posture, it's getting real bad, Shinwon thinks for a moment before he realizes what's happening and then, "what the fuck?" 

Shinwon's eyes travel up to veiny forearms, biceps, more tanned skin, long neck, wide smile, and then, "hey, Shinwon."

It's Hongseok, smiling down at him, hair slightly moving with the cool breeze of autumn. Shinwon blinks, and Hongseok's smile grows even bigger. What the fuck. 

Remembering the stupid position they are in, Shinwon quickly gets back to his feet, almost pushing off Hongseok's hands on him like it personally wronged him in all levels, scowling even more at the greeting. "Can you at least be careful? If I twisted my ankle, that's on you." 

The laugh he lets out is airy, it's soft but it's not forced, and Shinwon hates the way Hongseok's hand runs through his hair. It should be disheveled, what, with the wind and all but it really is unfair how others have it better than him. 

"I just wanted to congratulate you for getting a high grade on last week's exams," his previous wide smile is replaced by a tight-lipped one. For a moment, Shinwon thinks there's a speck of genuineness in his voice, a snarky comment awaiting at the tip of his tongue, but it's easily gone in a blink of an eye. "But I see, you still hate me." 

"Congratulations, my ass," this is Hongseok showing off to him, seeing as he's two marks higher than Shinwon was. Of course he'd boast right in front of his face. "Fuck off, Hongseok." 

"Why do you hate me so much?" 

"You just yanked me back, almost made me fell but you don't see me asking whatever goes on in that head of yours, right?" 

Shinwon stares him down, trying to assert whatever dominance there is in him just so he could have the upper hand in this situation, after all, quite literally, Hongseok had swept him off of his feet earlier. But then Hongseok's laughing again, a hand on his hip, and there's enough rage in Shinwon's limbs to set the nearest bush on fire. 

"You're cute, Shinwon, really. Even when you're angry, you still remind me of a bunny." 

Well, that had been the last of his expectations to hear from the other, where did that came from, they aren't even friends. He ended up scoffing and turns his back from him, walking in the opposite direction but not before a, "once again, fuck off, Yang Hongseok." 

He's three steps away when he hears Hongseok yell, the sound reaching his ears like a seagull's cry. Shinwon can't decide if it's nice or if it is borderline annoying. 

"You worked hard, Shinwon!" 

That's new. Like really new.

* * *

It's too early in the morning for Shinwon to deal with all of this at once. 

He's got papers to do, lessons to learn, reviewers to finish, and on top of that, an asshole is right across him, only a width of the table away from him, as if waiting for Shinwon to deck him on the face from how he's stupidly grinning. 

"What the fuck do you want," Shinwon sneers underneath his breath. After all, they're still in the library and any noise above a 20 decibel is considered a crime. He hasn't had his daily dose of boxed orange juice yet, so to deal with Hongseok at this time of the morning is like asking him to straight up drop and do twenty push ups right after bungee jumping off of a thirty-storey building. He just can't. 

Hongseok frowns when he realizes Shinwon is not meeting his gaze, so he literally moves, ducking his face to meet Shinwon's eyes. When the other glances and glares at him, brows furrowed, that's when Hongseok smiles triumphantly, "I could help you with that." 

"Please, pray tell, when did I ever ask for your help?" The grip Shinwon has on his pen tightens, turning his knuckles to white and he dearly asks whoever is up there, to give him patience because if they give him strength, he wouldn't hesitate to reach out and actually deck Hongseok on the face. "Go away." 

He hears him scoff, so typical of guys like him. "I'm not talking about whatever you're studying right there, Shinwon. Although, I'd gladly do so if you're giving up on those anytime sooner," he pauses, just to enjoy the pure annoyance flashing all over his face, basically toying with his lifeline. "I'm talking about your bad posture." 

His _what_. "My what?" 

"Your bad posture," Hongseok reiterates, sitting straight up like he's on watch. "Doesn't your back hurt from slouching too much?" 

Shinwon is flabbergasted, clearly taken aback from how Hongseok is interfering with his goddamned posture. Well, okay, the other has a point - he does indeed slouch too much, but still, how dare he. 

"The fuck, since when did you cared so much?" For a moment, Shinwon disregards his tasks at hand, too irritated at the prospect of Hongseok, who is enjoying this exchange way beyond than he should, making comments about himself. "I'm perfectly fine, I don't need you or your help." 

"Your back says otherwise," Hongseok retorts, a smirk plastered right on his face. 

A click of a tongue and Shinwon is placing a hand down on the table, quips, "make one more comment about my posture and I'll make sure a punch lands on your face." 

Alright, alright. Strength may not be Shinwon's strongest pursuit, his lanky and noodle arms a testament to all that. He may have been dedicated to the gym at a certain point in his life, but that's all in the past now, and he'd be caught dead first than trying to operate machinery at the gym. 

Maybe Shinwon is really just an irritable person, and he doesn't know why he still entertains Hongseok's remarks, knowing full well the other is just doing all this to raise a spite out of him. But he's only smart and hardworking, not a master of self-control. So when Hongseok quirks his lips, a glint in his eyes, followed by a, "you sure you can do that?" - Shinwon just loses it. 

"Oh, I sure can," Shinwon smiles conceitedly, leaning forward so Hongseok can hear him better, wants his words to drip like poison ivy into his ears. "I can have you on your knees in an instant, at my mercy, and you'll regret ever making comments about how I can land a punch on your face." 

The thing with Shinwon is, he likes having the last laugh - when he's proven other people wrong and all they can do is gape at him, just like now. A smirk graces his features when he sits back yet again, seeing the astonished look on Hongseok's face, and thinking that fucking finally, he's won whatever this is and he can finally go back on studying peacefully and Hongseok will hopefully leave him alone. 

But the other doesn't move, letting the pad of his fingers softly drum on the surface of the wooden table, as if thinking deeply, thoroughly, until - "ohh, kinky," Hongseok snickers. When Shinwon lets his mouth fall open in surprise at the unexpected response, Hongseok takes the opportunity to snide another remark in, "you've thought about me, on my knees, before you, huh Shinwon? I never took you for one, but I guess you're also a little ball of surprise." 

"What - ew no, get your mind out of the gutter you fucker," it all comes out in a rush, the speed of a bullet train, and Shinwon is half disgusted and half angered, his hands fisted. "You're insufferable, you know that." 

Not finding any reason to stay at all, as his once peaceful morning was disrupted thanks to one Yang Hongseok, Shinwon starts putting away all his belongings back to his bag, grumbling a bit. There's a too joyful smirk on the other's face, looking like he's just won the lottery and Shinwon can't wait to wipe that stupid smirk off of his stupid face and let that goddamned stupid excuse of a person to rot in the depths of hell. Anywhere, really, as long as he's away from Shinwon. Once he's done, he glances first at Hongseok, heaving a heavy sigh just at his appearance - this is what Shinwon was talking about. Whereas Shinwon spends hours and hours studying, Hongseok is just there, living gleefully to his heart's content.

"Thank you, really, for ruining my day," and just like that Shinwon turns around, walking to the exit. 

* * *

"Tell me, am I that aggravating?" There's an air of hopelessness when Hongseok heaves a sigh, whole body tense as he stares out in the open air. There's very little in the world that he doesn't understand, and this, this one he needs someone to make him to. "I'm a likeable person, right, right?" 

"Depends on the occasion," Changgu peers at him through the ridge of his glasses, raising a brow like Hongseok's said something stupid, "wow, Yang Hongseok doubting himself. This is a first." 

Yuto, ever the bestest person to grace this earth, speaks up, "of course, you're very likeable Hongseok hyung. There are so many you make smile, you're practically a people's magnet." Changgu snorts at that, but makes no move to negate the statement, Yuto technically wasn't lying. 

Looking even more sullen, bearing the weight of the world in his shoulders, he groans, long and deep, "then why on earth does Ko Shinwon look at me and treat me like I'm a piece of crap?!" 

"Oh, Shinwon? He's cute," Changgu supplies, looking far more interested in the topic than Hongseok would like. In the end, he ends up scowling at the slightly smaller man, "calm down, I don't _like_ like him like that. I'm just stating the obvious - wait, do you like Shinwon?" 

Shinwon. Milky skin, dimpled cheek, fluffy black hair, and owner of the softest voice he's ever heard on anyone. Several times had he seen Shinwon's face adorned with a smile that could rival that of the sun in terms of brightness, and sometimes, Hongseok finds himself wishing that that precious smile is directed to him, lest Shinwon actually stops looking at him with a disdain he can't decipher. 

There's a huff, followed by Hongseok pursing his lips because really, what will he get from lying - "I mean, he's attractive," he offers as a reply, and even Yuto has grown interested on their conversation that he glances up from his phone, looking expectantly at him. "And he's intelligent, plus he's got this really pretty smile that his dimple just appears like it's waiting to be poked-"

"Oh my god," Changgu laughs triumphantly, clasping his hands together as if realizing something. "You like Shinwon but he hates you?" 

"Fuck off," is what he says, reminiscent of what Shinwon had told him days ago, his mood reaching another low as he's reminded of how Shinwon had treated him. "I don't like Shinwon, I'm just...objectively appreciating him." He replies, tone lacking of conviction that he himself didn't believe what he just said. 

Hongseok rubs a hand all over his face, frustrated. Of course, he's interested in Shinwon - had always been since he'd chanced upon the sight of a sleepy Shinwon late at night in the library, in the midst of his first departmental exam there. He's heard so much about the guy, and had been curious of how he really is like, having no chance to approach the other even though they are block mates. It's almost endearing how soft Shinwon had looked at that moment, the bright lights casting a gentle shadow of his features over his face. Though his posture was a bit...concerning, from how he's slouched every time Hongseok directed his gaze at him, it looked downright uncomfortable - that's why he'd offered to help somewhat correct it the other day. After all, he frequents the gym, so he definitely knows a thing or two about correct posture his instructor had taught him. 

But curse him and his lack of brain-to-mouth filter. His brain really just disconnects with his mouth and falls out his ass, and for it to happen at such a monumental moment, damn it, Hongseok just can't win in life. 

* * *

Hongseok thinks there's definitely a progress in his not-really-but-somehow relationship with Ko Shinwon. 

Good thing he'd let go of some of his strict dieting that day, and instead of going to a salad bar, Hongseok had gone directly to a McDonald's. He really missed the grease of overcooked burgers and salty fries, partnered with an equally unhealthy cup of soda. Yum. 

It's when he's rummaging through his bag for his wallet when he hears a voice - unmistakably his - despite the higher pitch and somewhat frustrated tone, he can always pinpoint him out. Shinwon. Looking up to confirm his hunch, he gives a small and internal hurrah when he notices Shinwon's figure steps away from him, tie dye sweatshirt and jeans adorning his large frame. 

It's not his habit to eavesdrop, but it's hard not to when the conversation isn't really toned down. From what Hongseok is picking up, apparently, Shinwon had forgotten his wallet - wait, what - and is now profusely apologizing to the troubled girl at the cash register. Hongseok can't see his face from this angle but he's sure there's a pout on the other's face, and Hongseok isn't one to pass this opportunity to get close to him. In an instant, he finds his feet moving, excusing himself from the guy in front of him and then he's uttering, card in hand, "I'll have what he's having." 

The girl looks back and forth between them, and Hongseok further extends his card, smiles, "I'm paying for him." 

"What..." Shinwon trails off, blinking at him and suddenly, Hongseok finds his hand - a way more smaller hand than his, mind you - on top of his forearm, the touch shy and hesitant but Shinwon might've been surprised at Hongseok's sudden appearance. "Hongseok, you... you don't have to." 

"It's okay, I insist." He grins. 

Upon waiting for their orders, Hongseok had hoped Shinwon would make even a bit of small talk, about the weather, the long line at McDonald's, or even complain about one of their subjects, any topic really, just to make a conversation flow between them. But alas, Shinwon had maintained a good arm length between them, and although Hongseok wanted to get closer, he stayed back lest Shinwon actually fulfills his threat of landing a punch on his face. He wouldn't risk it. 

"You really didn't have to," Shinwon repeats, voice void of any anger that Hongseok felt strange from the lack of venom in his voice. "I'll send the money to you as soon as I get home." 

"You don't have to pay me back," he says, heading straight to an unoccupied table, Shinwon tailing after him. The moment he sits down, also expecting the other to do the same, Hongseok glances at him expectantly, immediately frowning when Shinwon just stands there looking strangely out of place. "Why aren't you sitting down?" 

He knows it's a far reach, so when Shinwon clutches the paper bag containing his own food, eyes holding all the bits of apprehension - Hongseok wasn't even surprised. 

"I don't like you," okay, he need not to hear that, although it stung Hongseok a bit, the way Shinwon's furrowing his brows like he's having some sort of internal conflict shouldn't be an adorable sight to him. "In fact, you cause me great displeasure-" 

"I could change that," Hongseok reckoned, "the displeasure part-" Shinwon gives him a dirty look, "I mean, why are you telling me this? It's not like I'm not aware of it, you're not exactly discreet of your distaste for me." 

Throughout the years, Hongseok takes pride in being able to read through people, his intuition rarely failing him - so when Shinwon does the exact opposite of what he was expecting, pulls out the chair across him and sits, Hongseok couldn't help but gawk. Literally, his eyes never left the other as Shinwon took out the contents of the paper bag, laying everything in front of him in a neat manner. 

"I'm only eating here just because you paid for my food," there's a hint of finality in his voice, but Hongseok pays it no attention - he's just glad to have him right there, despite the indifference but at least, it's a step towards the right direction. "I'm still paying you later, though. Consider this as a pre-thanks." 

Hongseok just snickers, of course, Shinwon would act like this. For a moment, any conversation between the two was nonexistent, save for some munching noises. Opting to leave the other on his own bubble, Hongseok turned to his phone, trying not to update his friends that _I'm practically on a date with Ko Shinwon ♡♡_ as he discreetly aims the camera to the other, trying to snap a picture and right there at that moment, Hongseok notices that Shinwon's cheeks actually puffs out when he's chewing, an information he never knew he needed until now because his heart literally clenched. 

"You dip your fries in ice cream?" Shinwon regards with pure disgust in his voice, face scrunching up when he watches Hongseok eat said food. "That's disgusting." 

"Can you please stop scrutinizing my food choices," a laugh and then he's dipping another fry in the cold treat, aims it towards Shinwon's lips, "try it before you knock it, say aah," 

"I will put you in a chokehold," the other deadpans. 

He couldn't help but giggle, "you talk too much, Shinwon. I'd love to see you try," Hongseok taunts, running a hand around the base of his neck, and he briefly sees Shinwon's eyes go wide at the action, "choke me." 

"Ooh kinky," crossing his arms, Shinwon jests, leaning forward, and oh, how the tables have turned. "You want my hands around you?" 

Oh. Oh. Shinwon is playing. Hongseok doesn't know if this is a good idea. 

He's about to open his mouth to reply, but Shinwon's mouth moves faster than his, "well, come here then. I'll make sure my hands touches every bit of the right places-"

"I don't know," Hongseok fake ponders, rubbing his chin, "I mean, you've got pretty small hands, would they even fit?" 

"Oh would you like to see me try," there's a pause before Shinwon lifts a hand as if to accentuate his point, "my hands are pretty?" 

"Of all the words I said that's the only one you picked up?" 

"Well, that's the only one worth hearing," Shinwon points out. 

He likes this side of Shinwon, Hongseok supposes. Or probably, it's because it's the first time the other has treated him decently, and although that's saddening on his part, hearing Shinwon make snarky comments just makes all the trouble worth it. 

Once they were both done eating, Hongseok shoots a quick text to the group chat until he hears him clear his throat, "I'm- I'm paying you back, okay?" 

Hongseok dismisses him with a wave, "you don't need to, it's not like I paid with a limb for them anyways. It's fine, you can just consider this as a...treat. Yeah, a treat- you know, since you're so smart...like a, like a reward?" 

"You talk as if you aren't smart too," the other states, "I'm still paying you back, I don't like owing anyone anything. Besides, I have yet to dislike you." 

Oh. Way to ruin a moment, Shinwon. 

"Why do you hate me so much?" Maybe Hongseok would get an answer now, hopefully, it's tiring to bear with all the disdainful attitude the other is giving him. "What did I do?" 

"I don't owe you an explanation." 

"Uh, well, maybe I do," the salt in his voice is definitely not coming from the fries he just finished, his face scrunched as he looks at Shinwon, who is also scowling back at him. "Your petulance towards me is infuriating, you know that? Like I really don't understand what's your deal with me." 

"I have my reasons," Shinwon states simply, like he isn't affirming he really does hate Hongseok's existence. "Just so you forgot - since it seems like you have too much time to waste in your hands apparently - we have an important quiz next week, and you should start reviewing if you don't want me beating your ass in that subject." 

Confused, Hongseok just tilts his head, "oh - I don't review for quizzes." 

"You don't?" The other declares, his scowl further deepening and Hongseok really can't understand why it's seemingly a big deal all of a sudden. When Hongseok nods, Shinwon stands up and makes a move to leave, but not before uttering, "and you wonder why I hate people like you." 

"People like me?" Hongseok uttered once he'd catch up on Shinwon after storming out of the fast food chain, gripping the other's arm tightly in his grasp to stop the matter from moving. He couldn't help but be offended at the statement, people like him, like what, exactly? "You're being way too childish, Shinwon. At least let me understand-" 

"I was always first, Hongseok, always - well, at least before you came. I loved being first and everything about it, but you have to come in and steal that from me and I know it sounds immature of me to bitch about it but I hate the fact that I'm losing. Losing over someone like you who I can't see trying as hard as me," Shinwon says all but in one breath, a tone filled with all the frustration and rage a person can possibly muster. "So yes, I hate you. So much. Are you happy now? Did I give you the explanation you wanted?" 

A rain of understanding seemed to drizzle onto Hongseok, all the pieces finally fitting into their rightful place as he stares dumbfounded at Shinwon. Well, it's a rather unusual way to aggravate someone but he supposes it's a good enough reason for the indifference, but he couldn't help but blink because - "don't you think you're being unfair to me?" he retorts, tone rising as he couldn't help the frustration bubbling over his chest, "that's very selfish of you to act like that, Shinwon, just so you are aware." 

Hongseok had heard Shinwon's small utter of 'whatever' when he walked past him, their shoulders bumping in a rather violent way. Tsk. 

* * *

Sometimes, no like, most times, Shinwon selectively makes stupid decisions in life. Not even Hyunggu or Yanan or Hwitaek could possibly talk him out of it, and while it had been exhilarating when he made the choice, it's not so much when he's currently going through the process of said decision. 

When he'd told his friends what occurred at McDonalds the other day, and apparently - as from Hyunggu's words - he was being a ' _rude bitch_ ' towards Hongseok, they'd coerced him into apologizing, and just from the very thought of it made a shiver run down his spine. Shinwon doesn't know how to apologize. He's competitive and prideful as well, not a good combination but it'll make do. 

"Remember how I said 'fuck you'," looking anywhere but at the subject of his apologies, he started fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater, clearly not liking all this. Hongseok only looked at him plainly, "what?" 

"Well, I..." he trailed off, eyes flitting to the wall as if it would magically come to life and help him because he really cannot do this. The classroom was already almost empty thankfully by the time Shinwon snuck in on Hongseok in hopes of apologizing, the other fixing his things as he was getting ready to leave. Hongseok peered at him, either he's confused or mad at Shinwon, he doesn't know. All he wanted is to get it over with, and if he sounded insincere, then he can't do anything about it. 

"Unfuck you, or whatever," Shinwon says in a rush, tone heady. 

"...what?" Hongseok uttered, a hand on his hip as he gave Shinwon a onceover. "What are you- wait- are you trying to...apologize...?"

Groaning, Shinwon ran a hand through his hair, somewhat frustrated, "don't make me repeat myself, Hongseok." 

"That is your attempt at apologizing?" Hongseok queried, arms crossing over his chest, and Shinwon's eyes followed the action. When their eyes met, there's only disappointment and something more distant in Hongseok's eyes that he couldn't pinpoint, and when he nodded, the other just gave out a big sigh. "A kid could apologize better than you, Shinwon. I'm disappointed." 

That definitely shouldn't have given Shinwon's heart a sunken feeling. But it did. He hated hearing negative words thrown at him. Second to losing, negative words were his weakness, and as much as he wished he didn't care about his image, to no avail, he does - like a whole lot. He'd spent so much time brandishing off this image of him, had spent nights thinking of all areas where he's still lacking and maybe it did damage his self-esteem, but it's too late to back up now. 

"You can't be disappointed in me," Shinwon squinted his eyes, "I mean, you don't have the right to."

Hongseok only quirked a brow, "well I technically could. You were trying to apologize to me, remember?"

"I hate you so much, do you know that." 

"Wow, is this still a part of you trying to say you're sorry? Because clearly, it's not working, Shinwon, just so you know." 

Shinwon didn't know what to reply to that. Though he admits, he was in the wrong - which was hard to admit on his part but he really was too harsh on Hongseok the other day - after all, he paid for his food, and it wasn't technically a small order. It's just that when he mentioned he doesn't review for something that Shinwon puts in a lot of effort to, further confirming that Hongseok really has it better than him, bitterness just seeped out of his system like trickles of honey - it's sticky and thick and there was no way he wouldn't have felt it. He'd lashed out on Hongseok and he knew he was wrong, but recognition and apology are two different things and Shinwon could only do so much at once. 

Probably sensing that he wouldn't get something out of Shinwon, Hongseok clasped his hands, "okay how about we have a deal?" 

This earned Shinwon's interest, looking at him with urging eyes and he continued. "This sounds childish but whatever - whoever is first at next week's exams will grant the loser two wishes. Though if I win, you'll have to apologize first then I'll get my two wishes, and if you win, I'll do what you desire." 

It didn't sound like too much of a bad deal, and in the spur of the moment, it sounded far better than actually apologizing, "deal. Get ready though, my wishes could be extreme." 

"Who said you're winning, Ko Shinwon?" 

Shinwon, ever the smug one, smiles mysteriously, "oh I'll make sure I win, Yang Hongseok."

**Author's Note:**

> hii hi this isn't my first time writing an au but uhh it is the first time i let ppl know that it's me???? 
> 
> ive wanted to read more shinhongseok fics since there's really very few of them so i just decided to write one my own! also, some parts of the conversations in this au were inspired from prompts ive seen on the internet <3 
> 
> lemme know what u think! kudos and comments are highly appreciated! or just yell at me on twt lmao [@starryshinwon](https://twitter.com/starryshinwon) ♡


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